Journeying With Wisdom

Grief is a road none of us want to travel, yet it’s one that life inevitably leads us to at some point. It’s not a straight road but one filled with twists, turns, and sometimes, backward steps that take us through emotions we thought we’d left behind. Each person’s journey is unique, but the fundamental experiences of grief—the pain, the love, and the eventual healing—bind us together.

When I lost my husband, my soulmate, the road felt unbearably long and steep. I had walked this road before, years ago, when I lost a sibling, and also my parents. But this time, the journey was heavier, more profound. Still, I have found that the milestones and moments of solace along the way are universal, no matter whom we grieve.

Words Are Just Words, But Gestures Speak Volumes

When you lose someone dear, the words of comfort from others can feel fleeting. They soothe momentarily, like a gentle breeze, but often they can’t penetrate the depth of your sorrow. What remains with you are the unspoken gestures of love:

• A warm hug that envelops you when words fail.
• A meal brought to your door when you didn’t even realize you were hungry.
• A hand that silently holds yours in a moment of despair.

These gestures don’t just acknowledge your pain—they walk beside you in it. They remind you that you’re not alone.

“What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” – Helen Keller

Faith: A Light on the Darkest Path

For those who believe, faith can be the lantern that guides us through the darkest stretches of grief. The promise of eternal life, of being reunited with our loved ones, can offer immense comfort. While the pain of separation feels insurmountable, faith gently whispers that this separation is not the end.

In moments when I felt consumed by the silence of my loss, I reminded myself of God’s promise. It didn’t erase the pain, but it gave me hope.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” – Matthew 5:4

The Monopoly of Grief: Moving Forward, Then Backward

Grief isn’t linear. It’s a lot like a Monopoly game, where you feel you’re making progress, only to land on a space that sends you back. A song, a scent, or an unexpected memory can transport you to a place of raw pain.

But here’s the truth: this backward movement isn’t failure. It’s part of the process. Each time you revisit a painful section of the road, you’re also building resilience. You’re learning to carry the weight with more strength.

“Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith… It is the price of love.” – Unknown

The Nuggets of Wisdom Grief Brings

Through my journey, I’ve uncovered small, invaluable truths:

1. Grief Is Love That Has No Place to Go
   The ache in your heart is a reflection of the love you shared. It’s a testament to the bond you had. Let yourself feel it; it honors the person you lost.
2. Accept Help, Even If You Don’t Think You Need It
   People may offer support in ways that seem insignificant, but allow yourself to accept their kindness. A simple gesture can bring unexpected comfort.
3. It’s Okay to Laugh Again
   Laughter doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten. It’s a sign that you’re healing. Embrace it when it comes.
4. Routine Can Be a Lifeline
   In the chaos of grief, small daily routines—watering a plant, drinking your morning coffee—can anchor you.
5. Time Doesn’t Heal, but It Softens
   The pain doesn’t disappear, but over time, it becomes less sharp. It integrates into your life, becoming part of your story rather than consuming it.

“Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.” – Tori Amos

How to Navigate the Road Named Grief

1. Take It One Day at a Time
   Don’t rush yourself to “move on.” Grief has no timeline. Focus on getting through each moment as it comes.
2. Allow Yourself to Feel Everything
   From sadness and anger to moments of peace, let every emotion flow through you. Suppressing them only delays healing.
3. Seek Connection, but Honor Solitude
   Surround yourself with loved ones who uplift you, but also carve out time to process your feelings alone.
4. Create Rituals to Remember
   Lighting a candle, journaling, or revisiting favorite memories can help you honor the one you’ve lost.
5. Reach Out for Support
   Whether it’s through a support group, counseling, or a trusted friend, sharing your burden can make it lighter.

The Side Roads of Healing

Eventually, by God’s grace, you’ll find yourself stepping onto a side road. This road isn’t free of grief, but it’s gentler. The pain becomes a part of you, but it no longer defines your every moment.

If you’re grieving, know this: there is no “right” way to do it. The road you walk is your own, and it’s shaped by the unique love you shared. But along the way, there are lights to guide you, hands to hold you, and a faith that promises brighter days ahead.

“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered.” – Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

This road named Grief has taught me more than I ever thought possible. It’s shown me the depth of love, the strength of human connection, and the quiet power of hope. And while I would never wish to walk it, I know that it has brought me to a deeper understanding of life’s greatest truths.

If you are walking this road, I am walking it with you. You are not alone.