Journeying With Wisdom

At the time of my husband’s diagnosis, the neurologist gave me only one piece of advice: “Travel as much and as often, while you can.“

And then, of course, life happens, one gets so busy that before you know it you realize time waits for no man. Subsequently, traveling has become quite the opposite of what I thought travel encompassed. 

With vascular dementia one deals with challenges such as incontinence, keeping balance, and delusional thoughts. These three can make or break a holiday. 

This is how I (see disclaimer at the bottom) managed to “enjoy” 7 days in beautiful Crete, the largest island in Greece. For a day trip, I suggest the following…

Before you do anything, buy a backpack. Forget about fashion, think of comfort and convenience. With the backpack, you can pack everything I’m about to share and still have your hands free to take photos as you go along.

Incontinence: 

• Make peace with the fact that no matter how much you prepare for slip-ups, there will be a moment, or two, when other people will stare. And if you’re lucky to escape the moment, just thank our Lord for the gift of the moment! 
• Take at least three sets of undies, nappies, and alternative pants along.
• Take at least one large resealable plastic bag (they’ve become my best friends) for soiled clothing.
• Pack three medium-size resealable plastic bags. This way you can seal each soiled nappy as it happens and chuck it in the nearest rubbish bin.
• Take hygiene wipes to clean his/her hands after being in the restroom because most of the time they don’t remember to wash their hands.

Keeping balance – walking: My husband used to love going for walks but now it clearly is a challenge. He still believes he can, but after about five minutes the complaints and excuses kick in. And it is always external factors that are to blame! So, here are a few suggestions based on what I did, subject to how far into the seven stages of vascular dementia your loved one is.

Suggested read: What are the 7 Stages of Vascular Dementia?

• Have his/her mobile (keep it fully charged) in his pocket with location sharing turned on. This is for if s/he does stray off.
• Pack the things s/he loves doing, like Sudoku. My husband also loves playing the solitaire card game on his phone. These two games can keep him busy for hours on end.
• Find a coffee shop with a table that is near the restroom and enjoy a cup of coffee or juice together. Chat for about 10 minutes and make sure to point out the restroom being so conveniently close by. Order another juice and something to eat for your loved one, and at the same time, explain to the waiter you’ll be going for a quick walk (and give the waiter your telephone number for when your loved one intends to leave the coffee shop) and will be back in around x-amount-of-time. Put your loved one’s mind at ease by letting them know s/he is safe, refreshments are on their way and you’re just going around the corner for a few minutes. Lastly, don’t stay away for too long. Thirty minutes maximum. During this time, the waiter would have served the refreshments, and there’d be some time to do Sudoku or play Solitaire.  Oh, and don’t forget to settle the bill and tip the waiter generously for allowing you some free time! 

Delusional thoughts:No matter where we go, my husband’s been there. He also believes he did some snow skiing in places where I know it is not even possible to snow ski! This is how best to handle these situations…

• Don’t argue or tell him/her otherwise. The latter will only make matters worse and lead to an argument. 
• Instead, ask him/her to elaborate on the time s/he was there, and self-talk yourself into accepting his/her fantasy story. 
• Remember: You don’t have to respond all the time! Sometimes less is more. Live for the moment. 

And that’s what got me through seven days in Crete. Don’t delay, if there’s even a small chance of traveling, do so now, before it is too late.

Suggested read: 32 Beautiful & The Best Greek Islands To Visit

Photo Source: https://www.facebook.com/group/maggysquotes/ 

Disclaimer: The suggestions are based on my own experience and in accordance with the stage of dementia at the time of our travels. It is up to you to decide what is best for your loved one. Take exceptional care to put your loved one at ease and never put him/her at risk.