As a way of dealing with the all-consuming life-changing experiences, I am putting my thoughts to “paper”. I am an ordinary non-medical-savvy wife, trying to keep my head above water. Am I winning? Who knows.
As of today, I will be putting thoughts to “paper” about my experiences taking care of my, now 74-year-old, husband. He was diagnosed with dementia about four years ago.
It is not always easy to talk to family and friends. In fact, it becomes a “so, what is the latest with…?” drama saga, and I’m not a drama queen.
However, I know that there are thousands of people just like me, having to deal with an evil disease that slowly steals your LO (I’ve learned that it stands for Loved One) from right under your eyes. It SUCKS.
- Social Alienation (amazing how friends can “disappear”)
- Unanswered questions. “Why”-questions don’t get answered.
- Cross and anger sometimes even beyond reason
- Kindness without any praise from your LO
- Self-pity (mostly because of experiences listed above?
So, that’s it briefly. That’s as they say, the long and the short of it.
For every part of the SUCKS-acronym, there is a much longer story. An inevitable series of continuous events that simply turn your life upside down.
- For example. Up to five years ago we were looking forward to his retirement and traveling the rest of the world we had not yet explored. We got a travel scratch map as a gift and were excited to scratch open all the countries we’ve been to. As for the rest, they jumped onto our travel bucket list.
- Then came the dementia diagnosis.
- The neurologist advised me to “travel while you can”.
- My daughter relocated from South Africa to Hungary. As a mother of an only child, I struggled to live without being able to physically see her. And so, we followed six months later, thinking that being in Europe would also make traveling much easier.
- Just as we had settled, COVID-19 happened. No travel.
- Now, five years since the diagnosis, travel has become a schlep. His behavior skills change within minutes when taken out of his comfort zone, which is his bedroom.
It SUCKS. Having recently turned sixty, I still hoped to explore the world, see how diverse cultures live, go to new, beautiful, and interesting destinations, and surprise visits to friends and family… My list goes on, and on.
It does not stop me though. I keep trying new ways of traveling with my dementia LO. 😊 Some are successful, some are not. But that’s for another day.
Ciao for now!
Journeying With Wisdom 
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